


No eye dart to the left

by stjarna



Series: Season 4 - Coda Challenge [5]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Coda Challenge, Coda Challenge @The FitzSimmons Network, F/M, Missing Scene, Trust, Tumblr: thefitzsimmonsnetwork, post Episode: s04e05 Lockup
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-27
Updated: 2016-10-27
Packaged: 2018-08-27 09:52:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8397049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stjarna/pseuds/stjarna
Summary: Written for The "Season 4, Episode 5 - Lockup" Coda Challenge organized by The Fitzsimmons Network on Tumblr.Summary in the Notes section, as additional spoiler protection for those who have not seen the episode.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Let's get back to that fight they had and resolve it, shall we?

He looks tired when he finally and quietly sneaks into the room. His eyes seem to be torn between avoiding her gaze and longing for it. He takes off his jacket, hanging it over the chair next to the door, and tucks his hands in his pockets. Jemma notices how close to the door he stands, the look on his face telling her that he’s not sure if he’s welcome.

“Hey,” she says, softly, hoping her tone will lure him closer to where she is sitting on the edge of their bed, the one they _share_ as she had so pointedly observed during their fight.

He swallows, only mumbling a quiet “Hey” in return, still rooted to the spot.

“I didn’t get fired today!” She does her best to start a conversation, forces a smile, despite the sadness of the lingering memory of their earlier argument, but the corners of his mouth barely quirk up.

“Fitz?” she tries to reach him, tries to make him open up.

He sighs, staring at the floor. Jemma closes her eyes, slightly agitated, when his voice makes them open again. “I understand why you’re upset, Jemma,” he mutters quietly, somewhat louder he continues, “But you _have to_ believe me that the _only_ reason why I didn’t tell you about Aida was because I didn’t want to jeopardize what you’ve been working towards: becoming the Director’s right hand, trying to maintain some control over what’s happening to our team. That’s the _only_ reason!”

Jemma opens her mouth, trying to interrupt him, but he keeps talking, “And I know that _once again_ I did something thinking it would protect you without asking you first… but… that’s _me_.” He gestures at himself apologetically. “And I’m not sure if I’ll _ever_ manage to shut that part of me off… Protecting you is the most important thing to me and--” He shrugs his shoulders, “I’m sorry… I don’t know what to do about that.”

She bites her lip, her gaze wandering to the floor. A blanket of silence covers the room. She doesn’t like that he keeps putting himself at risk for her, that he has the urge to protect her at all cost, but she remembers his words. _I’m not strong enough to live in a world that doesn’t have you in it._ She knows how deep his love for her is, even though she sometimes wonders how it was humanly possible to love the way Leopold Fitz loved, with heart, body, soul, and every fiber of his being.

Jemma looks back up, studying his panicked eyes. He’s breathing heavily, looking at her, and his hands begin to gesture wildly once more. “And… and I _get_ the pronoun thing! I _do_. _Really_ … I mean… _of course_ Aida’s an android, a machine… an **_it_**. But… I mean… I personify most of my gadgets. Most of them have dumb nicknames. … and the D.W.A.R.F.s are well… male …sort of… and … well, I mean… Radcliffe built her… I mean … _its_ body. _I_ didn’t choose that. I merely got involved when she … _it_ … waltzed into the room out of nowhere… and I knew we had to perfect her … _it_.”

He turns his head slightly to the side, mumbling to himself, “Dammit why is this so hard,” before turning back to face her.

Jemma suppresses a smile, observing how much he struggles with the pronouns, how hard he is trying to de-personify Aida. He doesn’t notice that his struggle helps her realize that maybe he had been right all along. Quietly, Jemma listens as he continues. “I knew we had to perfect Aida before we could show it to the Director or he would cut the project down. Aida could be _so_ useful in preventing unnecessary deaths… and Radcliffe is presenting... _it_ as his assistant, … I mean… if we want people to think that it is a real person, we’ll have to use male or female pronouns… I mean…” He gestures at Jemma, “ _you_ did when you first met Aida… even though you _immediately_ figured out that it was an android… because _of course_ you would. … And please,” he puts his hands together, begging in her direction, “pleeeeaaaaseeee believe me that I am _fully_ aware that Aida is an _android_ and I could never… never ever… _never_ think of it as _anything_ but an engineering project… I mean, that would be unethical, and weird, and icky… and… just… so bloody _gross_! And I’m sorry for keeping Aida from you, I’m sorry. And I don’t know why you think that was _easy_ for me. It _wasn’t_.” He gestures at his chest, “It drove a knife into my chest every time I had to do it. I don’t _want_ to keep things from you. I don’t. I _want_ to share everything with you, _especially_ something as fascinating as Aida.” He pauses, slumping his shoulders. “Are you gonna give me the silence treatment again?”

“Well, I _wouldn’t_ if you had given me a chance to speak,” she replies, surprised that her tone is a tad more snarky than she had intended.

“Oh,” he exhales.

She smiles and gets up from the bed, walking towards him. When she stands in front of him, she grabs one of his hands, squeezing it gently. “Fitz. I _know_ that you would _never_ get romantically involved with Aida, because, yes, it would be _unethical_ and weird and icky and gross and… well, a _lot_ of negative adjectives. And you’re _completely_ right that _maybe_ we should be using female pronouns for… _her_ … to keep _her_ cover as Radcliffe’s assistant.”

She sighs. “But _yes_ , part of me _was_ jealous, because you spent so much time with this _gorgeous_ android—both visually gorgeous _and_ from a scientific point of view—and _I_ couldn’t be there, and _you_ had to keep her from me. I would have _loved_ to work with you and Radcliffe on Aida rather than giving a bunch of stuffed-up politicians a tour of the base. _Or_ help you create an antidote against the effects of our beloved non-corporal mad-scientists. _I’m_ the biochemist after all. That should have been _my_ job. And I _even_ would have loved to take down that prison with you guys instead of playing the bloody prompter for our director for yet another PR gig.”

Jemma pauses and takes a deep breath. “I _miss_ working at the lab, working in the field, working with _you_. But I made the choice to leave the lab and try grabbing at power because ... well you know why. The truth is, I wasn’t jealous of Aida because she’s drop-dead-gorgeous. I was jealous because _you_ could be with her and I _couldn’t_. Because she’s _your_ pet project and not _mine_. Because _you_ could know about her and _I_ couldn’t… I wasn’t angry at _you_ for keeping Aida from me, because I _know_ you really had no choice. I was angry at _myself_ , at the _choice_ I made. And most of all, I was angry at those _damn_ lie detector tests, for putting you in a position where you _had to_ lie to me, for putting that kind of strain on our relationship. I hate the idea that we cannot share everything. We _should be_ sharing everything.”

“I want to, Jemma, I want to,” he exclaims, grabbing her free hand in desperation.

“I know,” Jemma replies, softly. She pauses, trying to figure out the best way to continue. “The director said something today that got me thinking: A team that trusts is a team that triumphs.”

“Oh bloody hell,” Fitz rolls his eyes, “another one of his stupid quotes that he probably stole from one of those damn motivational posters.”

She chuckles, “Yes, indeed,… but when I thought about it, it made me realize something.” She looks into his eyes. “I trust you. _Completely_. … And that’s _why_ we triumph, why we _prevail_. But part of why I trust you so much, is that … _usually_ … there’s no secrets between us. That’s when we’ve _always_ been at our strongest. And I _need_ that. Because when everything else is drowning in chaos, the trust that we had… that we _have_ … has always been the _one_ constant… I _need_ one thing in my life that I can trust 100%, and I _know_ you want that too, and these lie detector tests were the _sole_ reason why that trust has been broken. _I can’t have that_.”

She sees pain and sadness in the blue eyes staring back at her. Intuitively, she reaches for his face, her thumb gently caressing his cheek, as a smile appears on her lips. “So luckily… today, I found a way to ensure that we _won’t_ have to keep secrets from each other anymore.”

“What’d you do?” he asks skeptically.

“I will _not_ have to go through any further lie detector tests. Director’s orders. He has _exempted_ me from any further testing,” she replies, grinning mischievously.

He removes her hand from his cheek, and nervously glares down at her. “How? How? _How_ did you manage that?”

The corner of her mouths quirks up a little. “There _may_ have been a _little_ bit of subtle blackmailing involved.”

His eyes open wide.

Jemma tilts her head. “It’ll be fine, Fitz,” she reassures him. “I actually think _maybe_ I saw a _hint_ of respect in his eyes, when he finally realized that _everyone_ , _including_ himself, has secrets they want to keep to themselves. That not _every_ secret is dangerous. … And I think… _hope_ at the very least… he _knows_ that he can nonetheless trust me to do what is in S.H.I.E.L.D.’s best interest.”

“You blackmailed a seemingly indestructible Inhuman with a definite tendency for paranoia with access to an entire secret organization to go after people in his way?” he asks, panic-stricken.

“He doesn’t scare me,” Jemma replies confidently.

Fitz exhales sharply. “That makes one of us.”

Jemma rolls her eyes, smiling at him. “Leopold Fitz, do you trust me?”

A smile flashes across his face. “You know I do.”

She cups his face, gazing into his eyes. “It will be fine. Mace will not go after me.”

He squints, studying her face. “No eye dart to the left,” he comments.

Jemma chuckles. “Because I’m not lying. _Not_ to you. Not _ever_.”

He puts his arms around her waist. “That’ll go both ways… now that you’ve solved the polygraph issue.” He takes a deep breath. “I’m proud of you, you crazy woman.”

“I’m the boss,” Jemma replies cheekily.

He laughs. “Yes you are.” Then his eyes grow more serious. “And I love you.”

She can’t stop herself from grinning ear to ear, causing him to curiously ask “What?”

“No eye dart to the left,” she whispers.

He smiles, before leaning in to kiss her.


End file.
